Weaning, And Biting, And Tears...Oh My!!

I've dreaded this experience for over a year now. Even when I was pregnant, the feeling of sadness would wash over me if I thought about it too much. Now it's here, and I must face the music. I have begun to wean Noah off of breast milk. He's 13 months now, and I feel that it's time. If you're not a mom, or are a mom that has never nursed before, this probably sounds like something I should be rejoicing about. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Yes, in the beginning it's like someone has rubbed your nipples with sandpaper, and yes you look a little like a person out of a National Geographic magazine, but once you get past the first few weeks, it's just so natural! There's just something so wonderful, when you're nursing, and your baby makes eye contact with you. Or the sound they make when they know they are about to eat. (Maybe my kids only did that. If  the sound were given words, it would probably be something like, "Oh boy! Oh boy!! Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!!")

My heart is just full of bitter sweetness! I of course want my kids to grow up, and experience life to the fullest. But, a part of me is saying, NO!!! Stay little!! This was never this difficult with my oldest daughter, because I always knew that I would be having another down the road. And when my youngest daughter was born, although we thought we were done having babies, I didn't go through this because I decided to formula feed her. (Although, I DID nurse her a few times in the hospital.) And transitioning her from bottle to sippy cup, was a piece of cake. She cared more about her pacy than the bottle. Now Noah, well he's a different story all together! He has never taken a pacifier, and chooses to use mommy as one instead! Granted, he's gotten better about that than the first 6 months or so, but he still finds such comfort in it. And with him being my last baby, (  I can say that with certainty, because I had a tubal ligation during my c-section.) I'm not on as strict of a "wean schedule" as I was with Megan. But the time has come to slowly take his daytime feedings away. Because the inevitable has happened..........

Noah is a Biter!!!

Megan, my oldest, Never bit me!! And I nursed her for just as long! She was completely done my 14 months. Noah will whine and fuss until I let him nurse a little, and then after a few minuets, he'll bite and pull!! This doesn't happen every time, but it's enough to make me get the ball rolling, you know? But even after being bit, I'm still sad!

Weaning Noah, means the end of a chapter of my life. A part of my life that I hold so dear, and have wanted since I can't even remember. I would probably have 2 more if I was given the chance. I loved being pregnant, and feeling the anticipation of a new life that I helped create. I loved the feeling of seeing my baby's face for the first time. I loved their smell. There's nothing like baby smell. It's like God made them smell that way, so that we could breath them in, and make that memory last forever, because they're only little for a blink of an eye. Oh, why can't they stay little for just a little while longer?

So, with tears in my eyes, I'm left with the depressing fact, that my baby, doesn't need my milk for nourishment anymore. My baby, doesn't need to nurse to fall asleep.

My baby.

My baby......is growing up.



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